Lucas Chronicles: Time for Consolidation

Tomorrow is the big day. Back to the hospital to begin Consolidation.  I have to say, I am not looking forward to it AT ALL!!!  Lucas has finally gotten back to some form of "normal".   For the last few days, he has been walking again, talking, laughing, and playing.  All in all, aside from the 2 year old temper tantrums and the bald head, I'd say he was CURED!!!  Now we have to fill him full of more chemo and face the side effects again.  CANCER SUCKS.  I cry every day.  The hardest part is looking at pictures.  Frida, Lucas' godmother watched Lucas and Franco for a few hours so we could actually have some time to ourselves.  She took tons of pictures and he was smiling and laughing and all I could do was cry.  This is truly the worst thing I have ever dealt with so far in my life and I think I am doing pretty damn good coping with it.  I read a little article that I posted to my facebook page about a mother and her issues with being out of shape because she just had a baby.  Read it here,  Not just moms.  I feel the same way she does.  I want the boys to remember me for me, not what I think I am, but what they know me as.

OK, All over the place tonight and it makes for a difficult read.  I went back out into the field today for the first time since Lucas' diagnosis. It felt good.  I worked a long day and now, here I am typing away and yawning at the same time.

Need to get some sleep.  I will update you on Lucas' progress as we go.  Thank you to everyone for purchasing the wrist bands.  They have been a hug success and we already ordered a second batch.  If you want them, just let me know.