Cancer. ... Life. ....

My son has a full head of hair.  He smiles.  He doesn't "look" sick.  He can walk,  run, jump and play like a "normal" kid.   He goes to school and reads,  learns and studies.
Tonight my son fought with his mother and me for over a half hour.   Cried inconsolably for another half hour. Spit his medicine all over himself.  Why? Because he has cancer. Because he is still in active treatment.  He still receives chemo daily.   Steroids monthly and suffers hourly.   He fought with us because the steroids affect his tiny little emotions.   He doesn't know what to do or how to say what he is feeling.   He is frustrated.   More than us.  He tells me every night and asks why he has to take all this medicine,  all the time. 

He doesn't "look" sick, though.  So please keep that in mind when we have off days.   When we don't have answers.   When we cry.   Remember,  cancer still controls our life.  We pretend it doesn't,  but it tells us where, when, why and how.  It controls a 4 year old that just wants to be "normal".  To not have his booboo and go to the hospital.  To not take medicine and see his parents cry without explanation.

Remember,  cancer isn't gone even when it's gone.